My brother should get a prenup just like you? (Or at least have it drawn up.)
I’m not sure how many men we would like to know of their wives’re only aim is for the children to come from you. I mean, obviously it’s fine if the woman wants all her children to grow up to be the same exact flavor of male, but if she’s only looking for one of them to be really tall, studly, and super cool, well, I think our family would prefer, for her sake, if she doesn’t bring home the sort of “special” type of son that our parents always coveted.
You’ve definitely got some schmuck-like tendencies that you could be dropping somewhere between the Oval Office and Love Island. Guys come on there to, at the very least, build a little allure so we’ll fall for their sweet talk and not think of what we have in our near future.
One thing I will do however, is try to respect your needs for a little more than others expect.
It’s not like you have to hire a wedding planner to take a shot.
Hire an escort for a romantic dinner and splurge on a nice bottle of champagne. If it gets to the point where you have to ask someone you know to get you a job or come over to your place for a job interview, just be happy you have that kind of resource readily available.
Don’t waste your time and money on that boat tour if you’re not into history or tourism. Spend those quality dollars on a nice hotel and keep that poshness to a minimum.
My family insists on your marriage lasting three times as long as you should, and that’s okay. If you expect my family to want you to spend a lot of money on wedding celebrations, you’re going to need to come up with some better reasons for this than “the two of you are good friends.” No hard feelings, but you’re going to have to work hard to sell that shit.
So maybe go ahead and get a quickie. It won’t last long, but then again maybe that’ll be how you’ll start to get their goat, or at least keep them under your thumb, which will certainly make your family happy!
The most important thing for you is that you take some time to consider what these relationships mean to you. The problem is, you don’t have time to properly think things through. You’re hustling with the what-ifs, and that’s alright, but you need to put the past behind you and, preferably, bury the hatchet and forget the past.
I’ve heard some people say that husbands and wives should be pre-nup partners. They say you should be thinking of the kids here. And I don’t hate the idea of that — there are about 100 ways to live a happy life with only one primary breadwinner — but that doesn’t give either of you a license to act on what you’ve gained in six months of being together.
You don’t have to spend years having conversations with a lawyer about how your divorce will affect the “irreparable harm” of your children or whether your alimony payments will trigger the state’s ‘obsolete’ rule. You don’t need to apply for U.S. citizenship, because you already have the passport that entitles you to make it through customs with child support in hand. You don’t have to check into half a dozen marriage ceremonies and say your vows, because you’ve already legally formed a couple of, uh, unions.
You can do all of this with someone and their allowance and be done with it in about six months. Life is about relationships. Especially in the real world.
This woman had a past relationship with another man, and let’s be honest, when you’re in a relationship with someone for a while, you’ve got things on the brain that aren’t exactly focused on the relationship.
Even during the weeks you’ve been to court, you’re probably shacking up with a little random dude, text the only other decent person in your life, and maybe raise some weird, unkosher children with them.
I think it’s sweet that you’ve got the feelings, but don’t let them interfere with your ability to move forward in your relationship and the way you want to raise your kids.