News this week about divorce and the long-term effects of relationship breakdown was heartbreaking. The survey revealed that one in four women ages 30-60 feel their lives and personal relationships have been reduced to living on benefits as a result of divorce. Additionally, 70 percent of women in the survey felt that they were no longer proud of their children – this after having been their mother or father for many years.
This article focuses on making you and your kids aware of the effects of divorce on families. There are a lot of myths about divorce that have proliferated over the years. Some are typical of the community’s myths about divorces and divorce-related issues: divorce takes a toll on children; children go through a rough patch; children are guilt ridden when leaving the home.
It takes a special kind of discipline to foster the self-awareness and skills to get through the challenges ahead. Other parts of us can’t cope with the same stress and the greatest indicator of whether a child is ready to leave home is how well you can handle it.
The following tips and strategies are for parents; these are specifically designed to help children deal with divorce, not the couple themselves. Together, you will create a beautiful life for your family.
The parents will begin to learn how to cope with separation and the divorce process.
1. Teach children that it is an exciting time in their lives.
Before they leave, they need to learn that they are young and that they can do some exploring. It is vital that they begin to learn to enjoy their new life and surroundings. They should also learn how to develop basic character traits such as tolerance, perseverance, patience, responsibility, compassion, and independence. Teach them that it is OK to find their way in life on their own. Young children can easily succumb to peer pressure. Children need to learn how to stand up to their parents.
2. Let children determine their own future plans.
Parents can help children come up with realistic life goals. They can help their children be independent. However, they must never pressure their children to live in your parent’s home forever. It can have the effect of locking kids in unhealthy relationships.
3. Teach children not to blame themselves.
When a child complains about needing money, or doesn’t want to eat sweets or give up their favorite video games, feel free to disagree with them. Instead, you can offer to help them get it together. Be supportive and helpful. They will soon realize that it is best to help themselves.
4. Teach children about life after divorce.
Teach them that both parents must adapt and adjust to each other’s day-to-day life styles and routines. Help them to adapt to the new relationships with family members and friends. They must take responsibility for everything. They must act like adults and wait for Mom and Dad to finish up the things they need to get done. They need to understand that their behavior does not matter and their actions, whether positive or negative, do not determine the outcome of a divorce.
Parent-child trust and family relationships
The success of a divorce depends on the remaining parent’s ability to gain the trust of the child. A lot of divorced couples have been divided for years. A child may have experienced their parents barely speaking to each other for many years. A child may have been troubled and confused by their parent’s anger and misunderstandings. They may have felt estranged from their parent.
Those are the signs of a divorce that a parent must watch out for. A child needs to be able to count on his or her parent to deal with issues that arise.
Talk to friends about the divorce and sign up for class and support groups.
5. Teach children that with divorce there is no place like home and that their comfort and security depend on them.
The signs of a divorce are that children often go through a period of feeling confused, insecure, feeling unloved and unimportant. They may have had problems that they felt they were unable to communicate with their parent. They may have felt rejected from their family. As children mature, they will come to realize that they are important and love their parents.